Script for the upcoming season of The Hills

I wrote a script for the upcoming season of The Hills and thought I would share with you the riveting first few moments:
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Setting: Like an outdoor coffee shop or whatever

Guy and girl are like drinking coffee and , like, talking

Guy: Like, did you call her?
Girl: Whatever.
Guy: Whatever. You hollered back. Ummm, she’s like, “whatever”, and you were like, “whatever”. Whatever. Like why’d you do that?
Girl: Whatever.
Guy: Ummm. You totally got my ass called out. Like, we were okay, and you, like, whatever.
Girl (long pause, looking into the street or whatever): Like, we were, like, “hey” and then we talked about whatever. It never came up that you were seeing that girl.
Guy: Whatever.
Girl: She’s, like, so busy with work. Definitely. She’s got this, like, job or whatever, that like she’s like all up in the party scene for like fashion or whatever. And I was, like, “Whatever, I’d sell my car for a job like that” And she’s like, “I know, right” and I’m like “Right!”
Guy: I’d buy you a new one.
Girl: I know. Like, how to you get a job like that?
Guy: Like, you gotta go to school and stuff to learn that. Beverly Hills, I think.
Girl: Whatever, like I have time to, like, study and stuff.
Guy: Whatever.
Girl (suddenly on cell phone): Hey…. What? ....Nuh uh…. Whatever….. Whatever… Definitely…. I’m here now, call me back.
Guy: Who was that?
Girl: Whatever.

Camera pans overhead, playing an acoustic song or whatever, go to, like, a commercial or something.