For many years the government has been monitoring radio waves of their adversaries. Recently, they have figured out how to monitor your mind.
Using your brainwaves as if they were low frequency radio waves, they can read your mind. The biggest challenge was decrypting the waves. Using a base key, they can. This is accomplished by sending a control pattern to your mind then registering it. Using television, what you hear is used as the decryption key.
Once they have they key, they use cell phone like handhelds to record and process the info.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Monday, November 30, 2009
Script for the upcoming season of The Hills
I wrote a script for the upcoming season of The Hills and thought I would share with you the riveting first few moments:
-----------------------------------------
Setting: Like an outdoor coffee shop or whatever
Guy and girl are like drinking coffee and , like, talking
Guy: Like, did you call her?
Girl: Whatever.
Guy: Whatever. You hollered back. Ummm, she’s like, “whatever”, and you were like, “whatever”. Whatever. Like why’d you do that?
Girl: Whatever.
Guy: Ummm. You totally got my ass called out. Like, we were okay, and you, like, whatever.
Girl (long pause, looking into the street or whatever): Like, we were, like, “hey” and then we talked about whatever. It never came up that you were seeing that girl.
Guy: Whatever.
Girl: She’s, like, so busy with work. Definitely. She’s got this, like, job or whatever, that like she’s like all up in the party scene for like fashion or whatever. And I was, like, “Whatever, I’d sell my car for a job like that” And she’s like, “I know, right” and I’m like “Right!”
Guy: I’d buy you a new one.
Girl: I know. Like, how to you get a job like that?
Guy: Like, you gotta go to school and stuff to learn that. Beverly Hills, I think.
Girl: Whatever, like I have time to, like, study and stuff.
Guy: Whatever.
Girl (suddenly on cell phone): Hey…. What? ....Nuh uh…. Whatever….. Whatever… Definitely…. I’m here now, call me back.
Guy: Who was that?
Girl: Whatever.
Camera pans overhead, playing an acoustic song or whatever, go to, like, a commercial or something.
-----------------------------------------
Setting: Like an outdoor coffee shop or whatever
Guy and girl are like drinking coffee and , like, talking
Guy: Like, did you call her?
Girl: Whatever.
Guy: Whatever. You hollered back. Ummm, she’s like, “whatever”, and you were like, “whatever”. Whatever. Like why’d you do that?
Girl: Whatever.
Guy: Ummm. You totally got my ass called out. Like, we were okay, and you, like, whatever.
Girl (long pause, looking into the street or whatever): Like, we were, like, “hey” and then we talked about whatever. It never came up that you were seeing that girl.
Guy: Whatever.
Girl: She’s, like, so busy with work. Definitely. She’s got this, like, job or whatever, that like she’s like all up in the party scene for like fashion or whatever. And I was, like, “Whatever, I’d sell my car for a job like that” And she’s like, “I know, right” and I’m like “Right!”
Guy: I’d buy you a new one.
Girl: I know. Like, how to you get a job like that?
Guy: Like, you gotta go to school and stuff to learn that. Beverly Hills, I think.
Girl: Whatever, like I have time to, like, study and stuff.
Guy: Whatever.
Girl (suddenly on cell phone): Hey…. What? ....Nuh uh…. Whatever….. Whatever… Definitely…. I’m here now, call me back.
Guy: Who was that?
Girl: Whatever.
Camera pans overhead, playing an acoustic song or whatever, go to, like, a commercial or something.
Friday, April 24, 2009
ls *
>ls *
>mkdir earth
>cd earth
>mkdir life
>cd life
>pwd
/earth/life
>mkdir male
>mkdir female
>chmod -R 777 female
>chmod -R 000 male
>cd ../
>pwd
/earth
>
>mkdir earth
>cd earth
>mkdir life
>cd life
>pwd
/earth/life
>mkdir male
>mkdir female
>chmod -R 777 female
>chmod -R 000 male
>cd ../
>pwd
/earth
>
Friday, March 27, 2009
Blue Eyed White People are to blame?
Luiz Inacio Lula da Silvamade commented that "the global financial crisis was caused by "white people with blue eyes" after talks with British Prime Minister Gordon Brown to try to forge a global consensus on how to save the worldwide economy.
As a proud member of the National Association of Blue Eyed White People, I would like to go on notice stating that I had nothing to do with the finacial crisis. This type of racial sterotyping is why my people are having an uphill climb through a bigoted world that can only see us for the colors of our eyes and skin. During WWII, Hitler began the quest to develop a "master race" of blue eyed white people. This began the first labeling of us as "arian" and associating us to the nazi party. After many years of not having anything to do with this, we are now faced with a new form of racism against us.
As a proud member of the National Association of Blue Eyed White People, I would like to go on notice stating that I had nothing to do with the finacial crisis. This type of racial sterotyping is why my people are having an uphill climb through a bigoted world that can only see us for the colors of our eyes and skin. During WWII, Hitler began the quest to develop a "master race" of blue eyed white people. This began the first labeling of us as "arian" and associating us to the nazi party. After many years of not having anything to do with this, we are now faced with a new form of racism against us.
Friday, January 2, 2009
The #1 reason to be a dude
I have been thinking that it is good to be a guy, and I have come up with the number one reason why.
In the event of an invasion by aliens or zombies, we will be better equipped to run away because we won't be wearing high heels. We will have a better chance of survival, making it good to be a dude.
In the event of an invasion by aliens or zombies, we will be better equipped to run away because we won't be wearing high heels. We will have a better chance of survival, making it good to be a dude.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Sex lies and video-encoded flash files on the campain trail
In all my life I have never voted until yesterday. And I voted for Obama.
One of the main reasons I voted is because of all the over-zealous people who think they know Obama. I felt like I had to call them out as being wrong. I am convinced that certain groups of people make up stories and pass them along as fact, which in turn are passed on as fact to someone else within that group.
Take, for instance, a coworker who is extremely religious. He believes that Obama's stance on abortion "will lead the country to another Holocaust like Nazi Germany." Then, there are the people who are saying that Obama is Muslim. I am not arguing that he is or is not. I am arguing that not every Muslim is a terrorist. As not every African-American is a street thug. As not every National Rifle Association member is a redn... well, that one is probably true....
All the media networks have been following the candidates in their own way, as have the American people. I spoke to someone who was going to vote for McCain because they "felt" it was right. When I pressed for what it was that made them feel that way, there was no answer. But when I asked, "what is it you have against Obama to make you vote McCain?"
I was answered with, "you know he's Muslim and a Marxist?"
"Do you know what a Marxist is?"
"A communist?"
I voted for Obama, and I am confident that we will not have a Holocaust, nor will terrorist take over the White House. I voted because narrow minded people could have voted based misconceptions, racism, and religious brainwashing. I voted for Obama because all the people who read about Marxism on Wikipedia. I voted once so the vote of hillbilly America would be offset.
And, I thought Obama's campain slogan "Change we need" that hung on his podium read like Yoda was saying it. Try it. Yoda is wise.
One of the main reasons I voted is because of all the over-zealous people who think they know Obama. I felt like I had to call them out as being wrong. I am convinced that certain groups of people make up stories and pass them along as fact, which in turn are passed on as fact to someone else within that group.
Take, for instance, a coworker who is extremely religious. He believes that Obama's stance on abortion "will lead the country to another Holocaust like Nazi Germany." Then, there are the people who are saying that Obama is Muslim. I am not arguing that he is or is not. I am arguing that not every Muslim is a terrorist. As not every African-American is a street thug. As not every National Rifle Association member is a redn... well, that one is probably true....
All the media networks have been following the candidates in their own way, as have the American people. I spoke to someone who was going to vote for McCain because they "felt" it was right. When I pressed for what it was that made them feel that way, there was no answer. But when I asked, "what is it you have against Obama to make you vote McCain?"
I was answered with, "you know he's Muslim and a Marxist?"
"Do you know what a Marxist is?"
"A communist?"
I voted for Obama, and I am confident that we will not have a Holocaust, nor will terrorist take over the White House. I voted because narrow minded people could have voted based misconceptions, racism, and religious brainwashing. I voted for Obama because all the people who read about Marxism on Wikipedia. I voted once so the vote of hillbilly America would be offset.
And, I thought Obama's campain slogan "Change we need" that hung on his podium read like Yoda was saying it. Try it. Yoda is wise.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Fully Ubiquitous Coding Kernel v.08
I haven't been able to write as much as I would like because I have been very busy lately. For the past several years, a colleague and I have been toying around with a new programming language, and recently a major software development company has shown interest. A lot of intere$$T. So let me tell you, my loyal friends what I have been working on.
What lead to us starting this project was the overwhelming number of programming languages and variations of similar languages- UNIX being the main culprit. While my friend was looking for tech work, it seemed that every job had different requirements and he joked that there should "be only one" (--Highlander). After talking it over with a lot of smooth 12 year old scotch, we came to realize that we should compile such a language. After a few hobby attempts, what started forming was a unified UNIX language, or kernel. We began working to make the kernel Windows compliant while, at the same time, keeping it simple. Once that was working fairly well, we began working on languages like the C's, ASP, PHP, and Java. We found that a lot of the code was similar, and sometimes used a lot of extranious code.
Last year, while testing the basic application for another friend, he joined the project. He insisted we name it and market it around. Since the project was so open to languages, we decided to call it the Fully Ubiquitous Coding Kernel and show it to another friend who worked for a major computing company. This friend was amazed at its "almost artifical intelligence" and portability, and began making phone calls. Soon after, we signed a contract for a grant to continue our research, and they even put us on the payroll with the title "Engineering Researchers" under the Fully Ubiquitous Coding Kernels newly created logo.
As you may know, a title like Fully Ubiquitous Coding Kernel Engineering Researchers comes with a great responsibility. Like Peter Parkers spidey powers. I am pleased to announce that we will soon be releasing our product to the public and you, my private audience, will be updated on its powers before the release (2010) and get the chance to be beta testers, if you like, as soon as December of this year. You can be the Beta Users Testing Team for the Fully Ubiquitous Coding Kernel Engineering Research. Maybe we will have them make you business cards!
We will also be looking for experienced programmers to be part of the Testing and Integration Team for the Fully Ubiquitous Coding Kernel Engineering Research for the launch of the beta, so if you have experience, please contact me immediatly.
Also, if you have a lot experience with Boolean Language Oriented Windows Jargon and Object Balancing Spools, I could use you right away for integration onto the team. We also need a pair of Complex Object-oriented Computing and Korn Shell Universal Control Keygen Echo Redundancy Specialists.
Hopefully I will get a chance to write more once the team is staffed up, but until next time:
Moments shared with Jesus may be more fun with tequila. --hb
What lead to us starting this project was the overwhelming number of programming languages and variations of similar languages- UNIX being the main culprit. While my friend was looking for tech work, it seemed that every job had different requirements and he joked that there should "be only one" (--Highlander). After talking it over with a lot of smooth 12 year old scotch, we came to realize that we should compile such a language. After a few hobby attempts, what started forming was a unified UNIX language, or kernel. We began working to make the kernel Windows compliant while, at the same time, keeping it simple. Once that was working fairly well, we began working on languages like the C's, ASP, PHP, and Java. We found that a lot of the code was similar, and sometimes used a lot of extranious code.
Last year, while testing the basic application for another friend, he joined the project. He insisted we name it and market it around. Since the project was so open to languages, we decided to call it the Fully Ubiquitous Coding Kernel and show it to another friend who worked for a major computing company. This friend was amazed at its "almost artifical intelligence" and portability, and began making phone calls. Soon after, we signed a contract for a grant to continue our research, and they even put us on the payroll with the title "Engineering Researchers" under the Fully Ubiquitous Coding Kernels newly created logo.
As you may know, a title like Fully Ubiquitous Coding Kernel Engineering Researchers comes with a great responsibility. Like Peter Parkers spidey powers. I am pleased to announce that we will soon be releasing our product to the public and you, my private audience, will be updated on its powers before the release (2010) and get the chance to be beta testers, if you like, as soon as December of this year. You can be the Beta Users Testing Team for the Fully Ubiquitous Coding Kernel Engineering Research. Maybe we will have them make you business cards!
We will also be looking for experienced programmers to be part of the Testing and Integration Team for the Fully Ubiquitous Coding Kernel Engineering Research for the launch of the beta, so if you have experience, please contact me immediatly.
Also, if you have a lot experience with Boolean Language Oriented Windows Jargon and Object Balancing Spools, I could use you right away for integration onto the team. We also need a pair of Complex Object-oriented Computing and Korn Shell Universal Control Keygen Echo Redundancy Specialists.
Hopefully I will get a chance to write more once the team is staffed up, but until next time:
Moments shared with Jesus may be more fun with tequila. --hb
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