Hypergooglioma

Hypergooglioma (noun - medical)
hy·per·goo·glee·oh·ma [hahy-per-goo-glee-oh-muh]

Hypergooglioma is the technical term for a type of Hypochondria that is inflated by using Google to find your ailment. Often times, Googling symptoms will lead a person to believe that they are much sicker than they really are.

What Causes Hypergooglioma?

A number of things can cause Hypergooglioma :

• Using vague and common search terms for symptoms.
• Over analyzing results found on Google and believing that you also have symptoms that you do not have.
• Repeated queries using terms found in previous Google searches. 
• Only reading parts of articles related to your symptoms.

What are the Symptoms of Hypergooglioma?

The signs and symptoms include the following:

• Irrational belief that you have a serious disease.
• Constant worrying that you will die from a disease you found online.
• Confusion.
• Nervousness.

Part of managing your Hypergooglioma is to read each online article objectively and be sure to understand that what you are reading is based on generalized information. While you may have a dull pain in your head, it does not mean you have a brain tumor. Regular visits to real doctors can easy your worry, so be sure to make appointments if you are seriously concerned about symptoms you may have. Also, talk to your doctor about scheduling regular wellness checkups.

How Do I Treat Hypergooglioma?

The best treatment for Hypergooglioma is to eliminate Google searches from your self evaluation. While the alternative medicine is viewed as the best treatment in certain parts of the world, realize that you may only be doing more harm by using them (e.g., Bing). 

What if it Goes Untreated?

Hypergooglioma can be a serious problem if you don't treat it, so it's important to treat as soon as you detect it. If you fail to treat your condition you may only worsen the actual disease that you may have.

Talk to your doctor about how to handle this condition.

This Article Is Completely Unrelated To The Facebook Post Above

One thing about the human mind is that reality is often perceived differently by each individual. With social media being considered a news source, our thoughts are being manipulated by what our friends and colleagues pass around as fact without any research.

The truth of the matter is much more disturbing. Forget about the gun debate and whether the president is one religion or another. The fact is that we are all being duped from within the deepest recesses of the internet itself from a shadow organization that releases disinformation and propaganda to create panic and chaos. The internet itself was championed by Al Gore to help further the spread of such false information so that the organization's New World Order could proliferate.

While at Harvard University, Gore became a member of the secret Freemasons; created by Roscoe Pound who was also a member of the Society of Innocents. These organizations, while not exactly a secret to the general population, are indeed sub-organizations of a much larger, more sinister organization: the Illuminati.

The fact that the Illuminati control the internet can be proven by the Wikipedia page. For an organization that has such a long, fabled history, you'd expect they'd have much more about them. The Illuminati not only control the content on Wikipedia, they created the site.

Wikipedia Logo

They've even hidden the symbolism within the logo itself. You can see that the logo is a globe of multicultural symbolism that represents their New World Order philosophy. The missing pieces clearly represent what they choose to remove from our world. Part of solving the mystery of the Illuminati's plan is determining the missing pieces of the puzzle that is Wikipedia's Logo. While they will lead you to believe the logo was created by Paul Stansifer as part of a contest, they clearly used this as a ruse to mislead their users.

Another fact about globes is that our Earth is a globe. Wikipedia clearly uses this symbolism to almost dangle the answer in our faces like a carrot in front of a donkey. Only the smartest of us can be lead to the answers, however, we tow a heavy burden behind us. This burden is the knowledge of our true rulers: the Alien Overlords.

The Alien Overlords have been controlling the Earth and it's population for thousands of years. As part of their interplanetary travels, Earth was a stopping point between destinations where they found early species of humans that they were able to easily control due to their small, undeveloped brains. As the Overlords used the humans merely as slaves, many began to realize the potential of the species and worked to develop their brains. They used their own DNA to speed up this progress and began to help lead the early humans into free thinking.

One of the first things that they needed to keep the humans from rebelling against their masters was the idea of religion. The Overlords created myths based on simple explanations for such things as where they came from and how they were able to travel through space. Early humans asked many questions as they learned, and the complexity of the alien society only confused them. By making themselves gods and creating fantastic stories, the humans were able to understand by not questioning more difficult things.

Over time, the Overlords slowly left on their journey but many stayed behind. The ones that stayed behind vowed to watch and care for the humans while remaining hidden from them. A secret society was formed and maintained by them to help control the quickly growing population. During the course of time, the society allowed the different societies to form and create new governments and religions while still maintaining their New World Order.

There is an agenda and Al Gore is helping it along. However, there has been an uprising between the original Alien Overlords and their originating species that is playing out on our soil. I'll continue that conversation on my entry.

It's been a while

I've been very lazy writing lately, and I guess it's not so bad since there are no followers of my blog anyway. Whatever. Maybe one day someone will stumble upon it and make it viral because I'm a master signature writer.

You see, if you are new here, which you are, I write the "motivational" signature lines you see at the bottom of emails. Not all of them, but some. I take my inspiration from the Tao Te Ching, the ancient  words of wisdom that pretty much founded Buddhism. I like to use these fundamental ideas to form 21st century messages to get your mind moving. One translation of a section that I've always loved said "You shape clay into a bowl but it's the emptiness inside that you use." That got me thinking about doing nothing may lead to something, when in fact it means that doing something that leads to nothing makes room for cereal.

I hope you come back often. I'll try to start putting more of my signatures up for you to use in your emails. Stop using the ones that say "Jesus loves you" because that's just stupid and people get mad.  Sometimes, I also write very short stories or short ideas about long stories that I'll never write.

Repair Buttons, Retain Your Masculinity

I’ve noticed that my pant buttons fall off a lot. They never used to. Either my pants are shrinking or the quality of button thread is not what it used to be. I guess I’ll go with the latter. Whatever the cause, it became apparent that sewing the buttons back on was the only way to salvage an otherwise perfect pair of pants. Now that I don’t live in my mom’s basement and my wife doesn’t do such things, I would sit on the couch with needle and thread and fix the button. On one such occasion, a guy friend called and asked what I was up to. Fearing ridicule, I thought of other things I could say that sounded a bit more “manly”. Cleaning my gun? Watching lesbian porn? Drinking shots of whiskey? I don’t own a gun and haven’t had whiskey in years and he knew it.

Somehow, it slipped out, “I’m sewing a button onto my pants.”
“Ah, hahahaha. What’s your wife doing? Changing your oil?”
I was silent. He continued, “You going to hem her skirts while your at it?”

After a couple of minutes of his laughing at me, I decided to go on a quest to find the perfect way to fix buttons without sewing them on. It’s not that I didn’t want to be made fun of, because being the short guy in elementary school had made me impervious to ridicule. I just wanted to have the same feeling fixing buttons that I did when I was, for instance, changing hardware inside of my computer, fixing a broken door, rotating my tires...

That’s when it hit me. I went to the fabric store and bought dungaree (jean) buttons. They were 6 for $2, so I bought $20 worth to avoid having to go back to the fabric store. Dungaree buttons are 2 pieces; a male and a female part. To “install” them on your pants, all you do is place either piece on opposite sides of your pants and tap them together.

I grabbed an old brick from the backyard and wrapped it in gray duct tape. This serves as the base of your button making machine. Using a claw hammer, you just pound them together. If the pants are thicker and difficult to punch through, placing a piece of wood on top of the brick using a very small drill-bit to cut through the pants will help. Or, you can use a thin nail to make a pilot hole. Once you’ve got your buttons installed, have a beer. Perferrbly something hoppy.

Overgeneralizations

I like to over think things about society based on what I see and what I believe they think, based solely on what popular culture transforms into. I think that this blog should move more into my sociological, theological, and philosophical beliefs. Not because I want you to believe them (because you already do), but because I think that deep down we are unwilling to accept our true nature and believe in things that have slowly become either too hard to discuss or too hard to believe.

A few months ago I was watching a marathon of "Ancient Aliens" on the History Channel and it made me really start thinking. The show was a series of ideas about how aliens have been visiting the Earth for centuries and there is evidence that ancient cultures interacted with them. I got to thinking that if all of these separate cultures can all develop a ideal of "gods" that there must be something to what they might have believed. All of them believed that these gods were from somewhere beyond where we exist and helped them develop their society. They praised these gods and feared them. The show speculated that the gods were aliens.

Now, with the intelligent design theory and the evolution theory, you have two thoughts on the creation of man that to both sides sounds absurd. What if both are true?

The universe is 20 billion years old and the earth is only young in comparison. If the earth is 4 billion years old and life has only existed here for a small fraction of the time, then if the planets that formed before us and had more time to develop, and perhaps create life, then that life would be much older than ours. Obviously. Could they be more developed?

Human life has been around on earth for a long time. A humanish skeleton was found that was about 3 million years old. Over the course of 3 million years, it evolved into man. That is if you believe evolution theory. But it is a fact that the skeleton existed at that time. In between that time and the time when humanity started living in cities and electing officials and building pyramids, it seems that there was not a lot of progress. But, let's look at the time between when the United States declared it's independence and today. Only 200 plus years and humanity has developed electricity, the automobile, air travel, and then space travel. We have been proving Moore's Law and improving our technology at a rapid pace.

If you look at the reverse of Moore's Law, which I'll call Bundle's Law, then you see that doubling up the advancement started a long time ago when the first society realized they needed to eat. The first creature to walk earth slowly developed a way to make getting food easier. They learned to hunt. They invented the club, then the spear. They needed to cook the food, so they developed ways to use fire. They needed to move the food so they developed the wheel... The slow course of their development seems small compared to our accomplishments, but to them it was huge.

I think that it is almost impossible to believe that there is no chance that life had developed before we started. If there was a chance that life began somewhere else long before us, then they are much more advanced than we are. Let's just suppose that they are only 2000 years older. That would be huge if you look at where we will be in 2000 years. But if you look back 8000 years and say alien life started elsewhere 8000 years before that, they'd be where we are today. It is likely that they are a good million years older than we are, in which case they would be far more advanced. Advanced enough to be able to travel into space.

So let's say that they decide to leave their planet for what ever reason and come across a planet with primitive life. My theory is that they aided in the development of our species and got us started on becoming civilized. The people looked to these aliens as gods and loved them, did everything they asked. Then, when we were able to progress without their help, they left for bigger and better things. Or they stayed and the governments of the world have always been working with them.

I think that is just as reasonable a belief as is the stories of the bible. And that could just be a tale of alien creation in itself.

Your mind is being read

For many years the government has been monitoring radio waves of their adversaries. Recently, they have figured out how to monitor your mind.

Using your brainwaves as if they were low frequency radio waves, they can read your mind. The biggest challenge was decrypting the waves. Using a base key, they can. This is accomplished by sending a control pattern to your mind then registering it. Using television, what you hear is used as the decryption key.

Once they have they key, they use cell phone like handhelds to record and process the info.

Script for the upcoming season of The Hills

I wrote a script for the upcoming season of The Hills and thought I would share with you the riveting first few moments:
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Setting: Like an outdoor coffee shop or whatever

Guy and girl are like drinking coffee and , like, talking

Guy: Like, did you call her?
Girl: Whatever.
Guy: Whatever. You hollered back. Ummm, she’s like, “whatever”, and you were like, “whatever”. Whatever. Like why’d you do that?
Girl: Whatever.
Guy: Ummm. You totally got my ass called out. Like, we were okay, and you, like, whatever.
Girl (long pause, looking into the street or whatever): Like, we were, like, “hey” and then we talked about whatever. It never came up that you were seeing that girl.
Guy: Whatever.
Girl: She’s, like, so busy with work. Definitely. She’s got this, like, job or whatever, that like she’s like all up in the party scene for like fashion or whatever. And I was, like, “Whatever, I’d sell my car for a job like that” And she’s like, “I know, right” and I’m like “Right!”
Guy: I’d buy you a new one.
Girl: I know. Like, how to you get a job like that?
Guy: Like, you gotta go to school and stuff to learn that. Beverly Hills, I think.
Girl: Whatever, like I have time to, like, study and stuff.
Guy: Whatever.
Girl (suddenly on cell phone): Hey…. What? ....Nuh uh…. Whatever….. Whatever… Definitely…. I’m here now, call me back.
Guy: Who was that?
Girl: Whatever.

Camera pans overhead, playing an acoustic song or whatever, go to, like, a commercial or something.